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White House Discovers Declaration of Independence Written in All Caps

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sarah Huckabee Sanders called an emergency press briefing early Tuesday morning to announce the White House janitor discovered a rare, original copy of the United States Declaration of Independence, written in all caps.

“This important discovery of an all caps version of the Declaration of Independence is evidence that America has a long history of leaders writing important documents and tweets using all caps, from Thomas Jefferson to Donald Trump,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders from the Brady room at the White House.

Historians have yet to look at the document and confirm its authenticity, but if what the White House says is true, it would be a shocking discovery.

“To picture Thomas Jefferson in such a fit of rage that he would write the entire Declaration of Independence in all caps is stunning. Had King George seen an all caps Declaration, the war might have turned out much differently. He might have been so offended by the capital letters, he would have unleashed the entire might of the empire immediately and crushed the revolution,” said historian Jon Meacham.

“Thankfully this all caps version of the Declaration was never reproduced and sent to England,” added Mr. Meacham.

At the end of Ms. Huckabee Sanders press conference she ended with a statement of support for the president’s all caps tweet to Iranian president Hassan Rouhani. “The president’s tweet, the CAPS read round the world, will go down in history alongside this all caps version of the declaration.”

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