White House Confirms Mueller will Translate for Trump at Putin Summit
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Late Sunday afternoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders released a statement confirming Bob Mueller, the special council investigating Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election, will be President Trump’s translator for the Putin summit in Helsinki.
“President Trump trusts Mueller with his life, so naturally he wants him in the one-on-one meeting with Putin. Plus having Mueller in the room could speed up the Russia investigation,” admitted Mrs. Huckabee Sanders.
The president tweeted from Air Force One on the way to Helsinki explaining his rationale for choosing Mueller.
“Putin is a semi-stable genius (I’m fully stable genius, which is higher level of genius) and bringing Mueller as surprise translator will finally prove to the fake news media that I’m a stable genius,” tweeted the president.
Some Democrats immediately praised the president, seeing the decision to have Mueller in the room with Putin as a sign of strength and confidence.
“I want to commend the president on including Mueller in the Putin meeting. But part of me wonders is Mueller has flipped and is working for Trump. We might need a new special council to investigate Mueller,” said Senate Minority leader Chuck Schumer.
The Satirical Post reached out to House Speaker Paul Ryan to get his comments on Trump’s surprise announcement.
“Frankly I don’t give a damn. Mueller could have flipped the president and they could be executing some kind of secret sting operation against Putin for all I care. I’m retiring,” replied Speaker Ryan.
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