top of page

Starbucks adds Locker Rooms to Coffee Shops for Guests Who Never Leave

SEATTLE, WA - In its effort to cultivate a more welcoming coffee shop environment, Starbucks announced early Tuesday morning it will be converting part of every store into a locker room, equipped with showers, a hot tub, and an on-site masseuse.

“It’s not enough that we sell good coffee, we must be able to offer the same hygienic services as a Planet Fitness now that guests have the option to never leave our cafes,” said Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson.

Business experts are questioning the move, saying Starbucks should focus solely on making and serving coffee.

“I get they’re trying not to have world-renowned racist encounters in their stores, but installing gym locker rooms isn’t the solution,” said CNBC business analyst Andrew Ross Sorkin.

Customers were also confused, not exactly sure what the difference between a Starbucks and 24 Hour Fitness were now.

“So will the baristas have to unclog the hot tub and restock the shower soap? Or will there be non-coffee employees who do that,” asked Roger Leon, a long time Starbucks customer.

“Because I don’t want the person serving me coffee sticking their hands into a hot tub someone like me could sit it,” added Mr. Leon.

To read more from The Satirical Post visit our HOMEPAGE.


related articles
bottom of page