Bill Clinton Hosts Recovery Meeting for Accused Harassers
As a public service to America, former president Bill Clinton held a small and intimate meeting at a community center in Washington D.C. yesterday for several high profile men in the entertainment and political areas who have been accused of sexual harassment.
Typically a meeting with such high profile figures would be off limits to the press, but due to the high journalistic standards of The Satirical Post, we were allowed in the meeting to photograph its participants and document what was discussed.
The meeting began with Mr. Clinton introducing himself and recalling his own toils with accusations of sexual harassment. He then had everyone in the meeting introduce themselves and tell the group the allegations they’re facing.
Participants included Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer and current president Donald Trump. Charlie Rose was intending on making the meeting but had to cancel last minute due to the fact that it’s still embarrassing for him to appear in public.
Throughout the meeting Mr. Clinton offered advice on how to rebuild ones public image and repair your relationship with the American people. Chief among the many things he suggested was starting a global initiative to raise money.
“Just make sure that when a check goes out for let’s say, one hundred million dollars, you’re there when they hand it over. You want to be photographed when big money is paid out because it makes it look like it was your money that you’re giving away. People love other people who give money away. That’s the key,” explained Mr. Clinton.
The meeting ended with all the men shaking hands and making a commitment to each other and society that they will no longer use their power for sexual favors. However, they all agreed they couldn’t agree to stop cheating on their wives (those whose wives still haven’t left them).
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