Cash Strapped NRA Announces it Will Defend More Profitable 21st Amendment
FAIRFAX, VA - After court documents revealed the National Rifle Association is nearing insolvency, its spokeswoman Dana Loesch announced early Wednesday morning the NRA will begin defending what they deem to be the more profitable 21st amendment, which repealed prohibition and guarantees the right for Americans to consume alcohol.
"Most people don’t realize they have a constitutional right to drink alcohol. So we’re going to first inform them of this, and then warn them the government could take away their Corona,” said NRA Spokeswoman Ms. Loesch.
The Satirical Post reached out to Ms. Loesch to see if the NRA will be changing its name and logo to fit with their new mission.
“Our name will remain National Rifle Association, but we will be swapping out all our gun imagery for pictures of beer bottles and liquor bottles. Also, NRA employees will get upgraded dental plans during this transition,” responded Ms. Loesch.
The alcohol industry was excited to get a lobbing boost as beer sales have been sliding the past few years.
“The second we heard rumors that prohibition might be coming back, we saw a spike in sales and are confident in whatever the NRA is doing,” said Miller Brewing Company CEO Gavin Hattersley.
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