Abigail from Hogwild, CA writes to The Satirical Post's health advisor Gregor Wolfowitz.
“Salutations Gregor. Can I really get a disease from sitting on a toilet seat?"
That depends, Abigail. If you’re asking about literal toilet seats, the answer is, your chances are extremely low. Most diseases cannot survive long on the surface of a seat. However, as a self-diagnosed intuitive, I’m keenly aware you asked that question in the metaphorical sense. In which case, the answer is, human toilet seats are real, highly contagious, and you shouldn’t sit on them no matter how much you’re getting paid. So just to be safe, teach your kids (if you have any) to always stand at a forty five degree angle over the seat when going to the bathroom.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Gregor is not a trained medical physician nor is he certified to give out advice on anything outside of bicycle repair, and in rare cases birdhouse assembly. While Gregor will respond to ‘Doctor Gregor’, ‘Love Doctor’, or simply ‘Doc’ that is in no way an attempt to present himself as a medical professional.
To learn more from Gregor Wolfowitz visit our HEALTH page.