In Bold Move, Uber Bans Drivers Caught Sleeping on the Job

January 17, 2018

 

In an effort to rebuild the image of Uber, which has undergone serious damage since last year when the CEO was forced out due to cultivating to a toxic, corporate environment, the board of directors has issued new guidelines on what is acceptable behavior for an Uber driver. 

 

So what behavior is no longer tolerated? Driving while asleep. That’s right. Sleeping on the job will get your fired. The catch is, because Uber has no oversight of their drivers, they are relying on their riders to report any and all misbehavior.

 

“Please. If your driver falls asleep on the job, tell us. We’re still going to hire anyone who has a drivers license, but at least we can fire the ones too lazy to stay awake while they work,” said Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi.

 

Uber riders across the country were thrilled that their favorite ride share company was making safety a priority. “It’s awesome,” said Tory Ashlock, a college student at Florida State University. “I just hope that I’m still alive to report my driver was asleep, if I get a driver who falls asleep and doesn’t kill us,” added Ms. Ashlock.

 

Silicon Valley took notice of Uber’s decision to put riders ahead of drivers, and thus the public safety ahead of profits. The big question now will be if others in the tech industry will do the same. 

 

When reached for comment by someone in our San Francisco bureau office, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Facebook replied, “What is public safety? No. I’m kidding. I know what ‘public safety’ is. The answer is no. Profits are way more important."

 

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