Trump Supporter Applies for Security Clearance Ahead of White House Meeting

July 25, 2018

 

KREMLIN - As details for the second Trump Putin summit are worked out, Russian President Vladimir Putin has applied for a US security clearance in order to fully participate in discussing all the pressing issues between the two countries.

 

“How can I properly discuss the problems facing our countries if I don’t have all the details? They don’t have to issue me a new security clearance. They can just give me an old one they’re taking away from Comey, Clapper, or General Hayden. That’d be fine with me,” said President Putin over the phone when contacted by The Satirical Post.

 

Typically security clearances are only given to American citizens working with or interacting with the government, so issuing you to a foreign leader would be quite a departure from protocol.

 

“As long as Putin promises not to monetize the information he’d have access to, then sure I wouldn’t have a problem with it,” said Kentucky senator Rand Paul.

 

When asked if Russia would issue President Trump the equivalent of a Russian secuirty clearance, Putin responded, “If America gives me a clearance, I will have my people look into giving Mr. Trump one. But I don’t control the government. So it isn’t up to me. But I will ask nicely on his behalf.”

 

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