Trump Blames Narrow Travel Ban Victory on Widespread, Illegal Voting by Supreme Court Justices

June 27, 2018

 

WASHINGTON D.C. – Responding to the criticism about the size of his Supreme Court travel-ban victory on Wednesday, the president launched a counter attack on Twitter, citing widespread illegal voting by Supreme Court Justices as the reason for the 5-4 decisions in his favor.

 

“Would have won travel ban case 9-0 without the widespread, illegal voting by justices. Must change voter ID laws in Supreme Court now to prevent more 5-4 decisions. So many illegal votes. DISGRACE!” tweeted the president.

 

There is no evidence of illegal votes. Nine judges cast nine votes yet the president and his press secretary were resolute on his suspicion of impropriety on the high court.

 

“The president is right. So many of the Justices cast several votes. I did the math. If you deduct the four votes cast illegally, we won this case unanimously,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders when reached via phone by The Satirical Post.

 

President Trump continued tweeting about the illegal voting in the Supreme Court throughout the day.

 

“The people who say there’s no evidence are the same people who don’t want you to see it. Who are these supposed Justices to begin with? I don’t even know what RBG stands for. No one does,” tweeted the president.

 

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was not the only judge mentioned by name. In a twitter-roast, Trump made his way through each of the liberal Justices. He referred to Justice Sonia Sotomayor as “Sotomayor-Weiner”, and Justice Elena Kagan as “a decent preview of what Chelsea will look like.”

 

As for Justice Stephen Breyer, the President had this to say: “He’s the only male Justice on the left, so I feel it’s safe to assume he’s the ringleader of this scam. If I was Jeff Sessions, and I didn’t want to lose my job, I’d start the investigation there.”

 

The President finished the press conference by praising his conservative nominee on the court, Justice Neil Gorsuch. "The guy has great hair. I am directing the National Institute of Health to figure out a way to clone Gorsuch's hair."

 

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