Trump Blames Flailing North Korean Talks on Scratched Elton John CD

July 9, 2018


WASHINGTON, D.C. - Monday morning President Trump took to Twitter to explain why Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s latest meeting in North Korea didn’t go as planned, laying the blame on a scratched Elton John CD he gifted to Kim Jong-un.


“When I gave the Elton John CD to Mike it was in mint condition. No scratches. Then Mike gives it to Kim Jong-un and they spend an hour trying to get it to play. The CD's covered in scratches. SAD! CD was key to Korean denuclearization,” tweeted the President.  


The Satirical Post reached out to Mike Pompeo who confirmed the president’s account that he did receive the CD in mint condition. 


“I tried licking the CD, polishing it with my shirt. I was tapping the CD player. I tried everything. Nothing worked. The song kept getting hung up at ‘I’m not the man they think I am at home’. Kim thought it was some kind of message. I think that’s what triggered the ‘gangster’ comment,” explained Secretary Pompeo.


When asked what he thinks can repair the scratched CD incident, President Trump responded, “We’re gonna have to get Elton John to Pyongyang to sing a live version. It’s either that or nuclear war.”


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