Scott Pruitt Personally Monitoring Status of Endangered Kentucky Wildcat

June 2, 2018

 

LEXINGTON, KY - After an exhaustive six month investigation, The Satirical Post has discovered EPA administrator Scott Pruitt is personally monitoring the status of the near extinct Kentucky Wildcat, a species so rare only one remains on Earth.

 

“Right now we’re trying to find a female to mate with it, which shouldn’t be hard because it’s a majestic specimen that can jump through flaming hula hoops and dunk a basketball,” said Scott Pruitt when contacted by The Satirical Post.

 

Scientists around the world have been given the task to save the Kentucky Wildcat and help it succeed at all costs.

 

“I think it’s great the EPA administrator is taking such a personal interest in the health and long-term sustainability of the environment. Although I guess that’s what they’re supposed to be doing,” said one of the agencies chief scientists.

 

Saving the nearly extinct Wildcat has drawn an unlikely supporter, billionaire coal executive Joseph W Craft III, who has offered a reward if the Kentucky Wildcat can be successfully mated.

 

“I’m so impressed with Mr. Pruitt taking up this cause, that I’ve decided to donate ten million dollars to his personal account regardless of whether he is able to successfully mate the Kentucky Wildcat,” said Mr. Craft.

 

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