Scott Pruitt Bans Bumblebee Fireworks, Citing Risk of Bee Interbreeding

July 4, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Wednesday morning EPA administrator Scott Pruitt announced a ban on the popular Bumblebee firework citing it could breed with the current bee population and potentially unleash a new dangerous hybrid bee. 

 

“If these explosive bees mate with honey bees, you could potentially have millions of bee-bombs flying around the country. As the protector of the the nation’s environment, I had to eliminate the threat of mutant bees,” said Scott Pruitt.

 

The official EPA directive mandated anyone with bumblebee fireworks must drown them in a bucket of water, ensuring their fuses and gunpowder are permanently damaged.

 

“It was pretty traumatic, having the kids drown the bumblebee fireworks. The dog was barking. I even teared up. We’ve decided to spend the rest of the 4th indoors watching nature documentaries. No one’s in the mood for fireworks now,” said a local father who had to euthanize over three dozen bumblebee fireworks.

 

President Trump praised Pruitt on Twitter after learning of the ban.

 

"Genius. How has no one realized this potential threat before? Obama and Hilary would have bred bee-bombs and used them against us if they were smart enough to realize it was possible. Make Bees Great Again."

 

To read more from The Satirical Post visit our HOMEPAGE.

 

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