Rod Rosenstein to Enter Witness Protection Until Mueller Probe Concludes

July 27, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Amid growing outrage against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, the man ultimately in charge of the Mueller probe, the Justice Department announced they were enrolling him into the Witness Protection Program.

 

“Mr. Rosenstein will remain in the Witness Protection program housed at 2567 Lakewood Dr, Unit 2B in Santa Fe, New Mexico until Bob Mueller concludes his investigation. We just can’t take the risk of something happening to Mr. Rosenstein in the meantime,” announced Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

 

The Satirical Post reached out to Mr. Rosenstein to see how moving to 2567 Lakewood Dr, Unit 2B in Santa Fe, New Mexico would effect his ability to do his job and supervise the hotly contested Mueller probe.

 

“The Justice Department has assured me no one will know my location so that has taken a major relief off my shoulders. I just hope the internet signal at 2567 Lakewood Dr, Unit 2B in Santa Fe, New Mexico is strong enough for me to log in to our system remotely,” said Mr. Rosenstein.

 

When asked if he would rather have been placed somewhere else other than 2567 Lakewood Dr, Unit 2B in Santa Fe, New Mexico Mr. Rosenstein responded, “Absolutely. Initially I had requested to go undercover as an intern for President Trump’s defense team but unfortunately Justice Department regulations forbade it.”

 

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