WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hedging against unfavorable decisions in key cases that would limit his authority as president, Donald Trump demanded the Supreme Court recuse itself from all matters dealing with federal law and policy.
“Judges are totally biased and have way too many opinions. How can they be impartial if they’re over-informed about issues? RECUSE. Only fair!” tweeted Trump.
The Satirical Post reached out to the president via telephone to get a more nuanced take on his demand.
“First of all, I didn’t know Supreme Court decisions became law. I thought they just made recommendations that I could blow off, like with Jared and Ivanka. So I would say, had I known their opinions are binding, I would have picked the dumbest person possible for Neil Gorsuch’s seat. Someone with no brains who I could call and tell exactly how to vote,” said President Trump.
When asked if his experience with Jeff Sessions has made him sensitive to recusal issues, the president responded, "I'm the kind of man that only gets recused on once."
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