New NFL Policy Demands Military Tribute From Every Team

May 24, 2018

 

NEW YORK CITY, NY - A day after instituting a strict, national anthem standing rule, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell held a press conference Thursday morning to demand all 32 franchises select a player to serve as tribute in the US Military.

 

“This is the price we pay to honor The Capitol. Plus any team that loses a tribute on the battle field will be allowed to move up five places in the following year's draft,” said Goodell at the event that eerily reminded everyone of Hunger Games.

 

The announcement comes as no surprise to NFL fans that have watched the league become more and more involved with the military over the past decade.

 

“These players think they’re all Navy Seals anyway, now they don’t have to pretend anymore,” said Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who reportedly requested the US Coast Guard be eliminated from a tribute’s service options.

 

“Plus the fans will love to follow their favorite tribute on a new reality TV show that we’ll be producing to highlight their service. Getting into reality TV is a great opportunity for the League to expand its brand and double our revenue over the next five years,” added Mr. Jones.

 

Though the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) was not consulted on this decision, sources say the players are so used to bending to the League’s demands, there’s really no push back at all.

 

“Obviously I’m trying to win another Super Bowl, but if coach wants me to serve in Iraq, then I’ll go,” said star Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

 

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