Netflix Debuts Feature That Calls You Out Sick When New Shows are Released

January 23, 2018

 

The streaming giant Netflix has added a new feature to its innovative, binge-worthy platform. With just the click of a button, Netflix will automatically email your boss, providing a medically acceptable reason why you are unable to attend work for either one to three days. The new feature is titled ‘USE SICK DAY’ and can be found on the ‘Home’ screen of your Netflix account.

 

“People waste so much time at work, socializing with friends or family, reading books, when they could be binge-watching our fantastic television shows. Imagine if half the globe called in sick on any given day to watch the new season of Stranger Things. Our stock price would overtake Amazon’s,” said Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix.

 

In order for the new feature to work, Netflix subscribers would be required to input their employers information, amount of sick days available, and ‘acceptable risk level of being fired’ into their account, providing yet more personal information to Silicon Valley. But so far subscribers have been using the new feature at an alarming rate.

 

“We’re not going to give the number away, but we’ll say over a quarter of our subscribers have called out sick in the five days the feature has been live,” said Mr. Hastings.

 

“Greatest surprise of 2018,” was how Beatrice Fenlaw, a resident of Oxford, Ohio described the new Sick Day feature. “I can’t stand my job, so I’ve had Netflix email my boss the last three days saying I’m sick,” said Ms. Fenlaw.

 

When asked if she was worried that she could lose her job if there was a glitch in the Netflix emailing system, Ms. Fenlaw replied, “No. I put my risk level at 5 which is the max. I hope they fire me.”

 

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