Miss America Pageant Announces all 50 Contestants Will be Crowned 'Miss America’

June 5, 2018

 

ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - In attempts to ward off negative publicity about judging women based on looks and appearance, the Miss America pageant has declared, months before the competition, that each of the 50 contestants will be crowned ‘Miss America’.

 

“Judging women is tearing society apart. Therefore, we are making the judgment that the 50 beautiful women representing America are all ‘Miss America’ and the millions of ordinary women who aren’t contestants are not ‘Miss America’,” said Gretchen Carlson the Miss America chairwoman.

 

Male fans of Miss America have already began questioning the value of the pageant now that swimwear has been scrapped.

 

“I know plenty of women who are talented. I see them every day. But they’re not models. Maybe if some of those women were contestants for Miss America I wouldn’t be disappointed if the swimwear portion was scrapped,” said a local man who wished not to be named due to the unstoppable wrath of the MeToo movement.

 

“But when they put models on TV, something inside of me wants to see them in a swimsuit,” continued the local man.

 

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