BRUSSELS - After President Trump spent the first day of the NATO summit publicly shaming Europe, Chancellor Angela Merkel announced Germany will officially collude with whomever the Democratic party nominates for president in 2020.
“It seems interfering in a presidential election is the best way to improve relations with America. Like Russia, we look forward to strengthening our bond with the US by attacking its democracy,” said Chancellor Merkel.
“Also, Germany will meet its commitment to protect Europe and the United States by doing and spending whatever it takes to make sure Trump isn’t reelected,” added Chancellor Merkel.
The announcement caught England, Belgium, France, Canada and Mexico all by surprise, as they too had press conferences scheduled on the same day to announce colluding with whomever the Democrats nominate in 2020.
“Because so many countries are interested in colluding with the Democrats, we’ve had to form a new international organization to properly coordinate our collusion. Obviously we’ll be seeking American funding to keep us afloat,” said British Prime Minister Theresa May.
“Here in Mexico we’re prepared to do whatever the Dems want. We’ve already tested a pilot program, separating American kids from their parents. Although it wasn’t as successful as yours. Turns out kids in Cancun don’t want to go back home,” said Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto when contacted by phone.
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