Don Jr. and Eric Trump Enlist in New Space Force

June 25, 2018

 

NEW YORK, NY - Early Monday morning, President Trump's sons, Don Jr. and Eric, announced they had enlisted in the Space Force and were in fact the first two members of the newly formed military branch.

 

“Our father loves generals. So we hope becoming Space Generals will finally win his approval and show him we’re more important than Ivanka and Jared,” read the joint statement from the Trump boys.

 

When asked by The Satirical Post why he and Eric joined the Space Force and not a more established branch of the military, Don Jr. responded, “Our hair is too beautiful to shave off, so that ruled out the army. Eric is afraid of sharks so the Navy was out. Ultimately we both love Spaceballs so we’re really hoping for a Spaceballs type of experience,” answered Don Jr.

 

“Part of me wishes my father had started a Lava Force, because I feel like a lava suit would be cooler than a space suit, but I’m sure there’s a good reason why he started the Space Force and not a Lava Force,” added Eric.

 

The Satirical Post reached out to Jared and Ivanka to see if they were worried the Trump boys would ultimately become more important to the president now that they had enlisted in the Space Force.

 

“Idiots,” was the only reply Jared said on the record.

 

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