WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a major announcement late Thursday evening, House Speaker Paul Ryan announced congress will consider amending the bible in order to put a stop to the practice of separating families who enter the country illegally, especially if they have young children.
"Because biblical law supersedes American law, the only way to stop this evil practice is to amend the bible," said Speaker Ryan.
"We should all be thankful Jeff Sessions tipped us off on how to solve this problem. Honestly we had no idea how these border agents were getting away with this,” added Mr. Ryan.
When asked what verse or set of verses the congress is aiming to amend, the Speaker replied, “Not sure. No one has been able to find a verse about separating alien children from their parents. So we have might to throw the whole book out and write comprehensive bible reform.”
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