Trying to deal with a growing public relations crisis due to the continual slaughter of school kids, Wayne LaPierre and his team at the National Rifle Association have launched a new initiative to do their part in solving this national crisis.
Starting today, Mr. LaPierre and his team are sending combat helmets and bullet proof vests to classrooms they feel are the most vulnerable to the next school shooting.
“Obviously we can’t afford to buy every school kid in America a combat helmet and bullet proof vest, but we hope responsible parents in this country will add these items to their child’s school supply list in the coming year. And every parent that joins the NRA will get a discount code that can be used on our website when purchasing your beloved, child’s armor,” explained Mr. LaPierre.
Defense contractors who supply the military with combat armor are rushing to produce smaller, children sizes that would comfortably fit K-12th graders.
“The challenge is to produce effective gear that can be worn while students are learning. Typically our combat gear is worn in war zones when our soldiers adrenaline is pumping. So we’ll have to do some focus groups with elementary kids to see if they’re able to sit in a classroom all day wearing the heavy combat gear,” said Ballistic Body Armor CEO Murray Brown.
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