Bill Clinton Pardons Self for Being Sexual Prowler

June 5, 2018

 

NEW YORK, NY - What was supposed to be a light interview between Bill Clinton and NBC turned into a heated confrontation ending with the former president taking the unprecedented step of pardoning himself for being a sexual prowler.

 

“NBC was supposed to ask me softball questions about history, writing and Trump, but instead they blindsided me with questions about that woman Monica Lewinsky. It was either pardon myself or admit I’m a leg man,” said leg man Bill Clinton when reached by The Satirical Post.

 

Legal experts unanimously agree that former presidents don’t have the power of the pardon, so technically Bill Clinton is still a sexual prowler.

 

“I’ve known Bill for over forty years, and I can tell you, pardon or no pardon, Bill will keep prowling,” said former Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.

 

The confrontation stemmed from a simple question about how Bill would handle his situation with Monica in light of the MeToo movement that has swept the nation.

 

“He could have just lied and said he’s matured, grown in wisdom and humility, but instead he reminded everyone why they didn’t want him back in the White House,” added Hillary.

 

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