Trump and Bannon Arm Wrestle To Settle Feud

January 5, 2018

With so much on the line at the beginning of his second year in office, President Trump took time out of his day yesterday to arm wrestle former senior advisor Steve Bannon in order to put an end to their public feud. The White House staff and press corps gathered in the oval office to watch what many have been calling the biggest test yet of Mr. Trump’s young presidency.

 

“It’s a throwback to the Burr, Hamilton duel,” whispered Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and the man responsible for solving the Israeli, Palestinian conflict that has roiled the Middle East since mankind’s collective memory began.

 

Trump and Bannon emerged in the oval office dressed as their favorite characters from the Sylvester Stallone movie Over The Top and took their positions at opposite sides of the Resolute desk, the same desk President John F Kennedy used during his time in office.

 

"The fact this match is taking place in the Oval Office shows what’s at stake for the country,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. “Hopefully our President wins so we can go back to governing the country and Mr. Bannon will go back to funding episodic television in Hollywood,” added Mr. McConnell, who has had his own public spats with Mr. Bannon.

 

After a brief rundown of the rules governing arm wrestling, Vince McMahon, the surprise host of the event, locked Mr. Trump and Mr. Bannon’s hands together and wished them a good match.

 

Mr. Bannon immediately threw his weight into his wrist, trying to break the will of his former boss. But President Trump endured crushing pain and inched his way to gain the coveted 'over the top' position, enabling him to slam Mr. Bannon's hand down onto the table, ending their match and thus their public feud. 

 

President Trump tweeted out the image appearing in this article with a photo credit going to his daughter and top advisor, Ivanka Trump.

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