After Reports of ‘Lost' Immigrant Minors, the Trump Administration Hires Thousands of Babysitters

May 30, 2018

EL PASO, TX - Health and Human Services announced early Wednesday morning that they have hired thousands of babysitters in the southern border area to watch and keep track of countless unaccompanied immigrant minors.

 

“The American people can rest assured that any child separated from their parent will now enjoy the best babysitter care money can buy,” said Health and Human Services director Alex Azar.

 

Granting illegal immigrants quality babysitter care doesn’t come without controversy, as some see it as further incentive for people to cross into the country illegally.

 

“Doesn’t seem fair that we’re rewarding people for committing a crime by having high quality babysitters watch their kids,” said local Flagstaff, Arizona father of two, Mike Cappy.

 

“Maybe my next vacation will be to Mexico just so I can come back into the country illegally. It’s the only way I can afford a babysitter,” he added.

 

Young, teenage girls across the southern United States were thrilled with the announcement and have already begun filling out their resumes.

 

“It’s a gold rush. Girls with no experience are getting hired because there’s so many of these kids who need people to watch them. It’s crazy,” said local teen who wished not to be named due to the fact she has absolutely no babysitting experience and is not qualified to take care of a stray cat.

 

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