Exposure to Gamma Rays Before Intense Hearing Fail to Turn Rod Rosenstein into Hulk

June 29, 2018

 

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Rod Rosenstein, the embattled deputy attorney general spent the run up to Thursday’s intense, congressional hearing, exposing himself to an overwhelming amount of gamma rays with the hopes he would transform into the Hulk if pushed hard enough by the Republican controlled congress.

 

“I intentionally let congress harass, insult and belittle me, hoping it would trigger the gamma rays, but unfortunately science isn’t at the point where they can turn a guy like me into the Hulk,” said Mr. Rosenstein.

 

Several of Mr. Rosenstein’s staffers told The Satirical Post they thought the gamma ray treatment was going to work.

 

“I paid Trey Gowdy $500 to insult Rod's mother, thinking that could trigger the gamma rays and turn him into the Hulk, but Gowdy welched on the deal,” said a Rosenstein staffer who asked to remain anonymous due to the fear Mr. Rosenstein might turn into Hulk at some later point and tear his body into many pieces.

 

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