AUBURN HILLS, MI - Since the the introduction of the PT Cruiser in 2001, stylistically sensitive consumers have been wincing on the streets, in neighborhoods, parking lots, parking garages, and countless other locations as they spot the hideously designed automobile that set Chrysler back decades.
Finally recognizing this truth, the current CEO of Fiat Chrysler, Sergio Marchionne, issued an official apology to ‘consumers with taste’ all around the world.
“It is impossible to break ground on the future without fully acknowledging and confronting past transgressions and failures. Because of this, we at Chrysler would like to officially apologize for the PT Cruiser and all the pain it caused those who have any sense of style or taste,” said Mr. Marchionne.
“Bottom line. It was offensive. When I look at images of the car today, I find it offensive. I have no earthly idea how a car company could have produced something like that, but it happened. I’m just here today to say we’re sorry,” continued Mr. Marchionne.
The Satirical Post reached out to the man who created the PT Cruiser, auto executive Greg Whaler, who confessed the car had a conflicted genesis.
“My 12 year old son drew the car, and I thought it was an homage to the gangster cars of the bootlegging era,” Mr. Whaler recounted as he broke into tears.
"Later I found out it was entirely based on some sort of demon from a night terror. He couldn’t bring himself to draw the fiery red eyes and antelope horns. Somehow I turned my son’s night terror into a car and sold it to millions of people. I haven’t spoken to my son in over ten years,” Mr. Whaler added as he sobbed uncontrollably.
We at the Satirical Post reached out to Mr. Whaler’s son in order to reunite him with his family now that the official apology has been made by Chrysler. The two white, Whaler men met at a Starbucks coffee shop without buying a beverage and spoke for hours, ending their conversation with a hug.
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