Tesla Focus Groups New Slogan 'Enjoy the Ride, Leave Your Car Crash to Us'

April 3, 2018

Tesla announced early Tuesday they are in search for a new slogan that captures the essence of what their cars have to offer customers. Among many proposed slogans, the current favorite with focus groups around the world is “Enjoy the ride and leave your car crash to us.” 

 

“Sure we’ve suffered some crashes,” admitted Tesla CEO Elon Musk. “But so has Disneyland, Six Flags and Universal Studios. People still go to those parks even though people have died on the rides. It’s about being honest with customers and telling them what you have to offer,” added Mr. Musk.

 

An anonymous source within Tesla sent us some of the rejected slogans that weren’t tested on the focus group. These included, “Give the true God, Elon Musk, control of your life,” as well as “Hate yourself? Great. Buy a Tesla,” as well as “Jesus would have driven a Tesla,” as well as “Motorcycles were so 20th Century. Real thrill seekers buy Tesla."

 

The Satirical Post was able to speak to several members of the focus group giving Tesla feedback on the new proposed slogans.

 

“I’m constantly afraid that I’m going to kill my family in our car,” confessed Roger Michaels. “If Tesla can take that stress off my shoulders, I’d pay whatever they’re charging for one for those auto-pilot cars,” said Mr. Michaels.

 

When confronted with the fact that Tesla could potentially kill his family, or any driver on the road for that matter Mr. Michaels replied, “That’s right. But at least I wouldn’t live with the guilt and shame that I was the cause of their death. Instead I’d be living with hate and maybe some revenge for Tesla or a drunk driver, which is better in my opinion.”

 

Marketing expert Sarah Dean thinks the move by Tesla is a win-win. "Luxury brands are all about ease, comfort and status. By telling customers they no longer have to worry about crashing their car, they've eliminated a major concern for millions and millions of drivers,” said Mrs. Dean.

 

“Plus the fact customers have to pay between 115K to 150K for a Tesla with auto-pilot keeps their luxury status intact,” Mrs. Dean added.

 

To read more from The Satirical Post visit our HOMEPAGE.

 

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