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Laura Ingraham's Ratings Drop in 0 to 1-year-old Demo After Claiming Lazy Infants Live on Handou

Shock cable-jock Laura Ingraham is suffering the consequences from her Twitter rant in which she slammed infants for their lack of motivation, inability to help themselves, and overall dependence on others to keep them alive.

“Hey, infants. What gives? Why are you so set on having everyone do things for you? It’s time you grow up and take responsibility for your lives and end the cycle of dependence,” Tweeted Mrs. Ingraham.

“When I was your age I was changing my own diapers, learning geometry and prepping my college applications, not to mention feeding myself.”

“And when are American parents going to stop babying their babies? The time to teach babies to stop being babies is now!!”

“I for one am sick of watching babies take take take take without giving anything!”

Blowback to Mrs. Ingraham's Tweets were immediate as infant talking heads made the rounds on cable news defending themselves, although none of it was really intelligible.

MSNBC interviewed a baby sitting in a highchair who could barely keep its head up straight. FOX NEWS found a baby that smiled when asked if he agreed with Laura Ingraham’s criticism that his peers don’t do enough to help themselves.

Anderson Cooper from CNN conducted a twenty minute interview with a set of infant twins who were so outraged with what Mrs. Ingraham had to say they could only bring themselves to drool and poop on themselves.

When contacted by The Satirical Post to see if she was worried about her future at Fox News, Mrs Ingraham responded, “No, not at all. Because long term I don’t see 0 to 1-year-olds watching that much television. And I’m sure I’ll say something even more incendiary tomorrow and people will just move on from this comment about lazy infants.”

Mrs. Ingraham’s colleague at Fox News, Sean Hannity, had only praise for her comments. “If my wife and I have another kid, you better believe I’m gonna make it fend for itself from the moment it comes out of the womb,” said Mr. Hannity.

To read more from The Satirical Post visit our HOMEPAGE.


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