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Trump Fires Entire Executive Branch, Keeping only White House Chef on Staff

WASHINGTON D.C. - Unsatisfied with the advice and council of his senior staffers all the way down to the guy who approves $130,000 door renovations, President Trump has decided to fire the entire Executive branch of the United States government.

All regulatory agencies were given twenty four hours to shut down, shackle their doors and render themselves moot. The only person to survive the executive purge was the White House chef, known only as ‘Chef’.

“Chef and I get along tremendously. No matter what’s going on, he always has a smile on his face. He loves me. It’s tremendous. We have a great relationship. He feeds me. Chef feeds me. And it’s just great. We couldn’t be happier working together,” said President Trump from the Oval Office.

Secretaries Mattis and Mnuchin were escorted out of their respective offices knowing even though they had given it their all, a clown who serves hamburgers was still working in the White House.

“What can I say? Chef makes one hell of a burger. I don’t blame the President. I would have done the same thing,” confessed former Defense Secretary Mattis. “Damn good burger,” he added.

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