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Donald Jr. Declares Bid for Presidency, in Self-Pardon Backup Plan
Manafort Lobbies Congress on Behalf of Self to Make Ukraine 51st State
Jeff Sessions Creates Recusal Liberty Task Force
President Trump Re-Hires Michael Cohen to Fix Michael Cohen Problem
Rod Rosenstein to Enter Witness Protection Until Mueller Probe Concludes
White House Discovers Declaration of Independence Written in All Caps
McConnell Blames Russian Meddling on Founding Fathers, 'They Formed Too Good a Nation’
White House Confirms Mueller will Translate for Trump at Putin Summit
FBI Opens Investigation into Trey Gowdy's Hair
Trump Blames Flailing North Korean Talks on Scratched Elton John CD
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