The Satirical Post

NEW YORK, NY - After the player protest issue erupted yet again on Friday, the NFL took the bold step to permanently remove the American flag from all stadiums and replace it with the Russian Federation flag.

FYI: Because our film critic only watches movies available on Red Box, his reviews of theatrically released films are based solely on hackneyed troupes made popular by Hollywood filmmakers, and thus any plot spoilers are mere coincidence (there are no spoilers).

NEW YORK, NY - Early Saturday morning, longtime friend to President Trump and publisher of National Enquirer, David Pecker continued his quest of acquiring information and stories harmful to the president by making an offer to Robert Mueller for the entirety of the Russia Investigation.

Juliana from Prudence, GA writes to The Satirical Post’s health advisor Gregor Wolfowitz. “Salutations Gregor. What’s the difference between ADD and ADHD?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After days of clarifying confusing statements, word choice and explaining the pitfalls of double negative usage, President Trump brought in the 2018 Scripts Spelling Bee champion to bolster his command of the English language, hoping to prevent another needlessly confusing incident of miss-using words.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After days of confused messaging from Trump and the White House about who is to blame for the 2016 election hack, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell sought to lend the president a hand by laying blame squarely on the founding fathers.

Lauren from Ambling, ND writes to The Satirical Post's health advisor Gregor Wolfowitz. “Salutations Gregor. Friends tell me I should shut off my computer and phone before bed for a better night’s sleep, but I’m skeptical. What would you advise?”

MOSCOW - Following his better than expected meeting with President Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin announced he was giving every American who chooses to bicker over the DNC server, Obama’s failures and George Papadopoulos the title of ‘Honorary Ambassador to the Soviet Union'.

FYI: Because our film critic only watches movies available on Red Box, his reviews of theatrically released films are based solely on hackneyed troupes made popular by Hollywood filmmakers, and thus any plot spoilers are mere coincidence (there are no spoilers).

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Late Sunday afternoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders released a statement confirming Bob Mueller, the special council investigating Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election, will be President Trump’s translator for the Putin summit in Helsinki.