Donald Jr. Declares Bid for Presidency, in Self-Pardon Backup Plan
NEW YORK, NY - After days of listening to legal scholars debate the definition and consequences of ‘collusion', Donald Trump Jr. has dec
New York Times Hires President Trump as Chief Fact Checker
NEW YORK CITY - New York Times publisher A.G. Sulzberger announced Sunday morning that effective immediately, every article the newspaper pu
Jeff Sessions Creates Recusal Liberty Task Force
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After nearly a year of suffering recusal discrimination at the hands of the president, Attorney General Jeff Sessions has
CDC Develops New 'Trump Derangement Syndrom' Vaccine
ATLANTA - CDC Director Robert Redfield held a press conference Wednesday morning to announce the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
President Trump Re-Hires Michael Cohen to Fix Michael Cohen Problem
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to put an end to the seemingly endless Russia investigation, President Trump announced Saturday morning that he had re-hired Michael Cohen and given him one task, find a way to silence Michael Cohen before he talks to special council Robert Mueller. “Had no idea why Cohen would talk to Mueller. Then I realized Cohen wasn't around to fix Cohen problem. So I re-hired Cohen and told him to silence Cohen. DONE!” tweeted the President. The Satirical
White House Discovers Declaration of Independence Written in All Caps
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sarah Huckabee Sanders called an emergency press briefing early Tuesday morning to announce the White House janitor disco
National Enquirer Offers Mueller Free Subscription in Exchange for Rights to Russia Investigation
NEW YORK, NY - Early Saturday morning, longtime friend to President Trump and publisher of National Enquirer, David Pecker continued his que
Trump Pulls All Nighter With Spelling Bee Champ, Bolstering Command of Words
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After days of clarifying confusing statements, word choice and explaining the pitfalls of double negative usage, Presiden
White House Confirms Mueller will Translate for Trump at Putin Summit
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Late Sunday afternoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders released a statement confirming Bob Mueller, the special council investigati
Trump Blames Flailing North Korean Talks on Scratched Elton John CD
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Monday morning President Trump took to Twitter to explain why Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s latest meeting in North Ko
